22 July 2010

Insert overused metal band name word here

Much in the spirit of Matt Groening's annual "Forbidden Words' list, or that METALSUCKS list, ANTIVENIN beseeches up and coming metal bands: No more band names containing the following words!



Lately it seems like every goddamned new band I hear about -great or otherwise- has black, wolf, goat, or horse in their name. Look, bands, regardless of how incredible your music is, someone's got to do something about this repetitive word syndrome in metal band names. It's getting out of hand. In the last two days, triggered by a viewing of the new Death Angel album cover, I've come across bands called GOATWOLF, WOLFGOAT, and -for shit's sake- even BLACKWOLFGOAT.

Or how about the otherwise fine word horse? We've got BLOODHORSE, NIGHTHORSE, HORSEBACK, HORSE THE BAND, IRON HORSE - jesus christ, I'm surprised nobody's called themselves BLACKIRONHORSEWOLF yet (*idea!), though I'm sure there's a garage band out there named just that, and they're right now setting up their MySpace as I type this.

Good god's balls, man! Is it too much for bands to get themselves a dictionary, a thesaurus, an atlas, or better yet, a foreign-language-of-their-choosing-to-English dictionary and find said band a proper name!

Please, for the luvva this genre we all hold so dear, no more variations/derivations/combinations of the following words in your band name.

BLACK
DARK
NIGHT
WOLF
GOAT
SNAKE
HORSE
HAMMER
BLOOD
GRAVE
DEATH
GRIM
DYING
DEAD
CROSS
ANGEL
DEMON
BONE
WAR
FIST
GORE
WHORE
CORPSE
HELL
WITCH
IRON
SADISTIC
MORBID
SKULL

Any words you think have been missed? Leave a comment.

4 comments:

darryl said...

hey man, i am blackwolfgoat, and i totally agree with you about overused words in band names. in fact, i'm so sick of the word "black" being used in band names that i decided to team it up with two other totally overused words and just fucking drive it into the ground. i'm serious. i figured, what the hell, might as well just fucking try to outdo everyone else on the overused word front. peace.

Anonymous said...

my new band is
black horsecock wolfsnake

deez nutz said...

jack blacksnake

KYLE ANTIVENIN said...

@darryl
Thanks for commenting. Now knowing the impetus behind BLACKWOLFGOAT's name, I salute you. I neglected to mention previously, that the first time I saw your band's name, my instant inital reaction was, honestly, "Bitchin', I mean, why NOT fucking BLACKWOLFGOAT?"

@anon
Does BLACK HORSECOCK WOLFSNAKE need a drummer? 'Cos, like, I know a guy.